


The Beginning of the End

by omnisan



Category: Far Cry 5
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Depression, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Post-Canon, Singing, Song Lyrics, Stockholm Syndrome, omnisan's choice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-08 03:53:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14685903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omnisan/pseuds/omnisan
Summary: A take on post game ending with a female deputy (you) and Joseph Seed.





	The Beginning of the End

Joseph sat mere inches away from you in a chair, never breaking eye contact. His words reverberated through your head, though the bunker was nearly silent. Small tremors and vibrations from the outside warned you this wasn't a dream. It was one thing to be trapped in a bunker, but another, more unpleasant thing to be trapped with him of all people.

You wanted to kill him. He knew this. A small smile crept across Joseph's face as he watched you struggle, wrists tied against the bed frame. It was no use, and both of you knew it. With no sense of day, time was an illusion. Your body had already begun to ache in it's uncomfortable positioning, and you wondered if Joseph would ever free you. You'd fucking kill him if he did.

“Let's get you cleaned up.”

Joseph stood up and left the room for a moment, coming back with a cloth and a bowl of water. The crash and earlier events probably had you looking worse than you felt, not to mention how little you bothered to take care of yourself when you hunted the Seeds down. Joseph crouched in front of you, gently grabbing your face.

“Don't fucking touch me!” You shouted, pulling away and kicking the bowls contents.

Joseph's calm expression turned angry as he gathered the bowl and what little remained in it before grabbing your face with more force. You could feel where the skin was raw and bruised.

“There is no need to fight anymore.” Joseph said as he took the cloth to your face.

You winced when he cleaned an open wound, slightly recoiling under him.

“I will take care of you now.”

You refused to believe this was your life now. For the first time, you really wished you were dead instead.

* * *

 

Joseph's humming woke you up. If it was day or night, you didn't know. It didn't matter anymore. You were still attached to the bed frame, your body screaming to be free.

“Ah, you're awake. I've made you something.”

Again, Joseph took his place kneeling before you, this time with a bowl of something that looked like soup and crackers. He moved to spoon feed you like a child, but you turned away your head in refusal. You wanted nothing to do with the man, let alone give him the opportunity to kill you through poisoned soup. If you were to die, it'd be by your own damn hands.

“Get away from me.”

You successfully managed to push him away with your feet, making him drop the bowl, contents spilling on the floor beneath you again. Daring to look in his eyes, Joseph seemed enraged, but did not act upon his emotions. Instead, he simply cleaned the mess and left you alone. Even through the walls you could hear his humming again. You desperately wanted to strangle him and shut him up.

* * *

 

Your head hung low, resting against the metal of the bed frame. In your mind it had been days or weeks since the bombs were dropped, since you were stuck here. After your behavior with Joseph and the precious food, he had left you alone in that tin can of a room for a very, very long time. His footsteps and humming were faint from another room, but it seemed your ears were trained on the growling of your stomach. After a while it stopped and a sharp pain took its place instead.

Agony.

It wasn't the first time you'd been starved, but you wondered if this was truly worse than other things you had experienced. Probably not, but it was one of the only things that mattered right now.

The door creaked open behind you, but you had no strength to look. It didn't matter, it was only Joseph. If it were anyone else, you hoped they'd put you out of your misery.

“Shall we try again?”

Joseph sat in front of you, holding a spoon to your mouth. Lips chapped, a dry mouth, and no energy made it nearly impossible to open your mouth on your own, but when the soup touched the tip of your tongue, you instantly felt renewed. You allowed Joseph to feed you until every last drop was gone, poisoned or not.

He gave you a warm smile and gently touched your face before leaving you again. Maybe now you could get some better rest.

* * *

 

You woke to a feeling all too common and unpleasant: you had to pee. Looking around in the dim light, you couldn't see Joseph anywhere. You sat there, contemplating your next move. On one hand, you could just piss yourself, but that would leave you sitting in a puddle of piss. On the other hand, maybe there was a chance Joseph would free you and let you use the toilet. You decided to take that chance.

“Joseph?”

Your voice was shaky. Never before had you called out his name. It felt so wrong, so uncomfortable coming from your mouth.

The door creaked, “Yes, my child?”

You put away your pride, “I have to use the bathroom.”

Joseph hummed in acknowledgement. He made no effort to rush despite the growing fear you'd end up peeing your pants. Soon, your hands were untied and Joseph was helping you to your feet. You were still quite weak, so he guided you to the bathroom, one hand on the small of your back, the other holding your hand. You didn't care. There was only one thing on your mind, and as soon as you could, you pushed him away from you and closed the door to relieve yourself. Finally standing, you used the sink for support as you looked at the unfamiliar person in the mirror.

“You look like hell.”

You felt like it too. With a sigh, you came to accept the fact you'd probably be tied to the bed frame again and anxiously rubbed your wrists. Slowly opening the door, you peered around the corners to see no sign of Joseph. Curiosity got the better of you and you decided to explore the bunker and find him. For why? You had no strength to even fight him like you wanted.

“How are you feeling?” Joseph asked upon hearing your small footsteps pass through the doorway.

You wanted to stay silent. You wanted to ignore him. You wanted him dead.

“I'm fine.”

“Are you perhaps hungry? Or would you like to rest more?”

Both sounded excellent, but you said nothing. There was no need to when your stomach rumbled again and told Joseph all he needed to know. Motioning toward the empty chair for you to take a seat next to him, he began to open a can of tuna and a bottle of water for you. What a dinner.

“Eat up. You need to get some energy back. You can rest when you're done.”

You watched him as he sat in silent prayer, the tuna tasting awful in your mouth. How much longer would you be able to take this before you went crazy?

* * *

 

Nick held a fist out in your direction for a fist bump, Boomer wagging his tail nearby. Grace gave a small smile when Hurk tried to chest bump you, nearly knocking you over. Everyone was happy and laughing.

But as quickly as you could blink, the world around you was suddenly full of fire. Your friends cried out your name in horror, the skin melting from their faces, burning your nose. The Seeds looked down at you from the sky, laughing as your friends grabbed at your skin still clinging to your body.

“Don't let us die, Rook.”

You sat up so quickly and rolled off the bed, heaving what few contents in your stomach that still existed onto the cold, hard floor. There was nothing that could stop the overflow of tears running down your face from the vivid dream of your friends dying playing on a loop in your mind. You heaved again, nothing but stomach acid burning your insides. A hand came to your forehead, but you pushed it away.

“This is all your fault.” You hissed at Joseph. “My friends are dead because of you!”

You threw yourself at him with a newfound rage, swinging fist after fist to his face until you tired out, falling to a sobbing heap next to him. He said not a word as he let you abuse him, nor made an attempt to comfort you this time. You didn't want or need his comfort anyway. Sensing the feeling you wanted to be alone, he left the room, closing the door softly behind him.

“Fuck!” You cried.

* * *

 

Uncomfortable. That was your constant state of being. You woke up on the floor, body sore. The taste of bile lingered in your mouth, leaving you to spot the mess you made hours ago. A bowl and cloth sat nearby, and though you felt weak again, you cleaned the mess you made.

It was then you noticed two things: Joseph was elsewhere, and you had not been chained to the bed the previous night. The bunker was silent. The world no longer shook. Was it over?

Hastily getting to your feet, you wandered out into the hall. Joseph appeared to be sleeping soundly on the couch in another room. Slowly, you made your way up each step, closing in on the main exit door.

“I wouldn't open that.” Joseph calmly warned from behind you, making you stumble and fall on the steps. “God has not yet cleansed the world for us.”

New scars and bruises lined his face from the beating you gave him last night. You didn't regret it. Seeing him only ever made you mad. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath in hopes of releasing some of the anger into thin air. Joseph extended his hand out to you to help you up, but you glared at him. You didn't want his help. Managing to stand up on your own, you pushed past him to find something to eat, hearing Joseph sigh behind you.

* * *

 

On more occasions than not, you found yourself sitting with Joseph in the same room. Personal space was respected, but you two were still too close for your comfort. But then again, it was hard not to be within meters of each other in a bunker no larger than an average house.

You started to notice quirks of Joseph's, like how he prayed before every meal and hardly slept because “God gave him all the energy he needed.” There were so many moments where silence filled the bunker for what seemed like days, slowly driving you crazy.

You didn't know when, but you began to hum. At first it was just nameless tunes to keep you from losing your mind in the silence, but then it morphed into you silently singing to yourself. Whatever you could think of, you sang it. Sometimes it was just a line or two here and there, other times it was a whole song, or at least what you could remember of them. Most of the time you could only think of songs that furthered you into a depression.

“I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh.”

You recalled Sharky when you first met him.

“I want to hold you high and steal your pain away.”

Jess…

“I keep your photograph, and I know it serves me well. I want to hold you high and steal your pain, 'cause I'm broken when…”

You stopped at the second voice that chimed in, trying to harmonize with you. Joseph continued with the song even though you had since stopped.

“I'm lonesome, and I don't feel right when you've gone away.”

You interrupted, glaring at him as he hummed, “What are you doing?”

Joseph picked up the lyrics without missing a beat, continuing, “The worst is over now and we can breathe again, I want to hold you high, and steal my pain away. There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight, I want to hold you high and steal your pain.”

“Stop,” you begged, tears welling in your eyes. “Why do you have to ruin everything?”

You rubbed your eyes with closed fists, Joseph still singing as he stepped closer to your place on your bed.

“'Cause I'm broken when I'm open, and I don't feel like I am strong enough…”

He sat next to you on the bed, embracing you. You tried to punch him and shove him away, but you were already too vulnerable.

“'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome   
And I don't feel right when you're gone away.”

There was no way you could hold everything in anymore, exploding into tears as the memories of your friends plagued you. You cried for them, you cried for the future, you cried for you. Despite your wailing, Joseph never hushed you, simply being the support you needed but didn't want.

* * *

 

Wiping away the hardened sleep from your eyes with one hand, you wondered when you had fallen asleep. Even more startling was the arm draped around your torso. Joseph laid beside you, a cute whistle coming from his nose as he slept.

No, not cute.

How had you even gotten in this situation? What bothered you more was the fact you wanted to stay like this. You felt safe, even if for only the moment.    


Spooned by the enemy. Never thought you'd end up anywhere near this sort of situation. It was almost laughable until you felt Joseph stir. Keeping your eyes closed, you pretended to be asleep, hoping he'd go away so you didn't have to talk to him about the situation.

“Give us the strength to get through another day my Lord.” He sat up and gently touched your face. “My child needs it.”

Maybe he was right. He was right about everything else.

* * *

 

“Would any of this have happened if I did things differently?”

You watched as Joseph took his eyes off the book he was reading to look at you. “Only God would know.”

The pencil’s lead you had been scribbling on a piece of paper with broke with a snap, the only sound in the room. All you could do was stare back into Joseph's haunting eyes.

You had been silent for a while, perhaps a few days at most, thinking about how things had played out. Would things be different if you took different paths? Would you want to do it all again? Could things actually become worse than this if you did? All you could do was think, think, and think.

You hated it.

* * *

 

"I should've never come here.” You sighed.

Joseph glanced up at you, a slight look of surprise on his face. “What do you mean?”

“I think if I never went to the academy, or even took the job, I wouldn't be here right now. I could've been somewhere nicer, maybe with someone who cared about me.” Pausing only for a brief moment as your mind raced, you continued, “Even if the events were the same and the world ended as we know it, I might've at least been happy.”

“You don't think you can still be happy?” Joseph inquired.

“I'm stuck with you until who knows when. Even when, or if, we can ever leave this tin can, there's nothing left out there. How could I be happy with nothing?”

Joseph allowed the silence to take over the room for a brief moment before he smiled. “I think this is the most we've ever talked.”

“Don't get used to it.”

* * *

 

Dreams and nightmares continued to plague you nearly each night, causing you to wake up in a cold sweat, with glistening eyes, or screaming. Joseph always rushed to your side no matter the time of day or night, holding your hand or cradling you while he hushed you like a baby that had just woken up.

One night, you had come to the realization that you craved the attention and affection Joseph gave you during moments like these. Yet he was always kind and gentle towards you now. It was just you and him after all.

“Will you stay here tonight?”

Your voice was barely a whisper as you wiped your hand under your nose, then on your pants. You were so tired, so sad, so lonely.

“Of course.”

It wasn't something you had been constantly aware of, but the temperature of the bunker was seemingly often on the cooler side. With Joseph now next to you in bed, you could feel his body heat radiating from him and dared to snuggle up to him like a feline. With him by your side, you were able to close your eyes and fall back asleep with no recurring nightmares haunting you.

* * *

 

How long had it been since you thought for sure you were dead? Time didn't exist anymore. Neither did the animosity towards Joseph that lingered inside you. You could no longer bear the awkwardness surrounding the two of you. Perhaps calling yourselves friends was a stretch, but conversation made you feel human again.

“What are you thinking of?”

Joseph had been staring at the pages of the book he'd been reading, but you could tell he was no longer reading, his eyes in a distant place while he smiled to himself.

“So many people disliked when I told them the Voice spoke to me. When I found John and Jacob after so many years apart, they believed everything I said. They did everything to help me, to help us.”

“You miss them, don't you?”

Joseph’s smile faded away as he nodded. Being in his presence, you felt the sorrow radiate from him. It made you feel for him, and you hated it.

“I'm sorry.”

As quick as your feet could take you, you left the small space you shared to go anywhere else for a moment to yourself. You found yourself in the small medical room, suffocating. All you could think about was how you killed them. For why? Because someone else told you to? And you just did it? That was someone's family, someone's life, gone because of your own damn hands.

Joseph was by your side, but you couldn't help but to back away, crying. Why would anyone want to be stuck with the person that killed the people they loved?

“It's alright, deputy.”

“No it's not! I killed them!”

“You were only listening to the voices from those who buried themselves into your mind with their lies. I forgive you. God has forgiven you.”

The soothing tone of Joseph's voice helped to calm you, but you didn't believe you could be forgiven so easily for your actions. They were why you are paying the price now. This was only the first stage of hell.

* * *

 

Waking with a start, your eyes snapped open, seeing only blackness. The warmth and weight in the bed next to you told you Joseph was sleeping. Your nightmare was mild, no screaming or tears, yet you could not will yourself to go back to sleep. Instead, without waking Joseph, you slipped away to sit on the old couch by yourself. The glow from the fish tank was the only source of light, yet there were no fish anymore. They had long died, probably from lack of food. The color of the light was still pretty and calming.

“You're awake?” Joseph nearly whispered so to not scare you.

You looked upon his place in the doorway and nodded.

“Another nightmare?” He asked, taking a seat next to you.

Again you nodded, not wanting to speak, the bubbles of the tank recapturing your attention. Joseph sighed. He wasn't upset at you, only upset he couldn't do more to help you. You turned your eyes from the tank to look at Joseph, who was sleepy but concerned. Your hand found its way into his and the two of you sat that way for a moment without another word spoken.

Though you knew you'd probably regret it later, you couldn't stop yourself from kissing him, craving any and all affection. You paused to see how he reacted, but only received disappointment.

“Maybe we should get you back to bed.”

Words got stuck in your throat, but you complied. With the two of you back in the warmth of the bed, your eyes already drifting closed, a hand found its way into yours, and a kiss on your shoulder. You had wanted to forget it all, but now not so much, even if it was just a fluke of a moment.

* * *

 

From the moment you woke up the next day, you stayed as far away from Joseph as possible. Mistakes had been made by both parties, and you couldn't bear to be near him for the time being. It was a decent concept, until Joseph realized what was going on.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

He had you cornered in the food supply room, the door shut behind him. When he wanted answers he found a way to get them.

You couldn't look at him. “I'm not.”

“Don't lie, deputy.”

You closed your eyes, “You already know, don't make me say it.”

“It was bound to happen. You and I, together in a bunker.”

You opened your eyes when you heard his voice get closer. You had backed into a shelf with nowhere left to go with his body very close to yours. You felt warm. Too warm.

“God will understand.” He whispered. “Tell me what you want.”

His hands hovered just above your body, his breath hot on your neck. You were the first to move in, to make contact with a silent plea in the form of a very desperate and hungry kiss. Joseph did not waver this time and returned your need with one of his own. Hands wandered each other's bodies before you were lead out of the storage room and onto the couch.

With heavy breathing, you showed Joseph want you wanted. It was only a mere moment of pure bliss before you found yourself feeling all too naked with Joseph on top of you, gently kissing the skin of your clavicles between his whisperings of God.

You felt nothing again.

* * *

 

To say you felt nothing didn't mean it didn't happen again. In fact, it happened more often than you'd like to admit. You needed him and he needed you.

“Is this what love is supposed to be?” You asked.

Joseph had been tracing light shapes onto the skin of your back with his finger, but stopped abruptly. Your cheek had been smooshed into the rest of your face from where you laid facing away from Joseph. There was no way for you to tell what he may have been thinking.

“No.”

You were not surprised at his response. The two of you simply used each other for your own needs. Would you even be able to truly love again after this?

“You loved your wife, didn't you?”

Joseph shifted beside you, returning to run his fingertips across your back.

“Yes, very much.”

“I'm sorry I can't be her.”

Again, Joseph stopped. “You don't have to.”

Maybe he was right. But you hardly knew who you really were anymore.

* * *

 

Humming woke you up. It was something you hadn't heard in a while, and you found it pleasantly surprising. You dressed before finding Joseph in another room, a smile on his face.

A smile.

Something you hadn't seen in so long it was nearly sacred. Something that made you want to smile, no matter why the reason.

“You're rather cheerful today.”

Joseph rushed to you, clasping your hands in his. “I've heard it. The voice. It spoke to me as you slept.”

Something was happening. You couldn't tell if you should be excited or fearful of the news he was about to share.

“It's time.”

It's time. You repeated that phrase in your head so many times in that moment. You knew what it meant. Happiness and fear coursed through your veins and you thought you'd keel over from a heart attack all at once.

It was finally time.

 

The bunker door opened. The two of you stepped out into the now vast and barren landscape. As far as your eyes could see, there was nothing aside from concentrated heaps of rubble. You swallowed hard, your mouth suddenly feeling dry as your heart sank. Your hand found its way into Joseph's once again as you struggled to internalize reality.

You thought this was the end, but it was only beginning.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, comments, and new followers are welcomed and appreciated. You can find me on Tumblr @ randishock.


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